diamondsky's Diaryland Diary

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Scholarship essay...

Some say that the best way to make God laugh is to tell Him that you have a plan. God has probably been getting a few good laughs out of me recently. What I have learned about life so far is that it is unpredictable, and only God knows what is going to happen to us. We have to trust in God, and everything will fall into place. Sometimes we forget that God is in control of our lives, and we try to run our lives in the way desirable to us. The Catholic life is sort of like maneuvering a plane; we can fly the plane with a general direction in mind, but God is our pilot and we are His co-pilot. We just have to work together to arrive to our destination.

I once thought my destiny would be found by earning my degree at Northern Illinois University. My plan was to major in microbiology, and my boyfriend would come the following year to “live happily ever after.” But one day as I was working on a Spanish assignment in my dorm room, I flipped through my Spanish-English dictionary. There, in the middle of the page, was a word I recognized: horticulture. My brain flashed back to my senior year in high school, when I was on the FFA horticulture team. I missed learning about the plants and their systems; how they functioned. Something told me that I was in the wrong place. After some research and praying (okay, a lot of praying), I decided to change my major to horticulture. My advisor told me I would have to transfer to a school offering that program. A few weeks later my boyfriend had decided he wanted to enjoy his senior year single. My plan had fallen apart.

Even though my life seemed to be crumbling, I still had one familiar constant in my life—God. I went to student mass every Sunday, and on Wednesdays several NIU Catholic students and I gathered together for Faith Formation, mass, and pizza. If not for these friendships, I do not think I would have been able to remain sane while in DeKalb. As the semester came to a close, the priest informed the students that the Newman Center had an opportunity to send a youth group to World Youth Day this August. He offered me the chance to go, even though he knew I was leaving the school. I was thrilled to accept his offer. It will be amazing to see such an important town in the Catholic religion, and I am excited to see so many youth share the joy of God.

Although my plans have changed a lot over the year, my main goal is be happy with my life. God always comforts me, and can always lift my spirits. He knows what is best for me, and I trust Him completely. I listen to God with an open heart, but I do not think He is telling me His plan. At least not all of it; He just gives me a few previews. If He were to tell me the entire plan, it would make my role on Earth too simple. I just know that I have to be a good Catholic, work hard, and follow His commandments. The rest should just fall into place, just like horticulture happened to be the one word I noticed on the page in my dictionary.

God is bringing me to wonderful places—Europe, a new school, and into new friendships. At first I was afraid of His plans for me, but then I remembered what Jesus had said in Matthew 6:25, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear." I have learned not to worry, and to trust God. My plan now is to major in horticulture and to have a career in research. Hopefully God is not laughing this time.

There. It's done. It's not the best essay ever. But I like it.

10:00 p.m. - August 06, 2005

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