diamondsky's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- cold turkey I don't think I like Thanksgiving anymore. Apparently the one time trip to the banquet center for Thanksgiving (because I had to work last holiday) has turned into tradition. A tradition which now includes waiting on a server, waiting again for a set of silverware, and waiting in line only to find out they're out of sweet potatoes and they only have dark meat. Now we hear the conversations of other families while we prepare to say grace. Oh, but this year I was the only one who said grace. Dad was already tearing into his turkey. And who has BBQ ribs on Thanksgiving?? Apparently my brother, my dad, and my mom. They didn't even have green bean cassarole at the banquet center. But, it's okay because Mom didn't have to cook all by herself--obviously I'm not old enough to help. It's okay, because we don't have to do dishes now. Even though I enjoy doing the dishes after a meal like that. It's okay because we didn't have to spend all that time and effort working on a meal that'll be gone in moments anyway. But it's not okay to me. I miss decorating our table with the pretty tablecloth. I miss setting the table with our fancy silverware. How am I supposed to learn our family recipes if we're dining out for Thanksgiving? I want to help cook a turkey. I want to learn the secret recipe for Grandma's noodles. I want to say grace at our dining room table. I feel so disconnected. Like I'm spinning out of control. I know that I have homework and projects and exams coming up. But I just sit in my room and watch Grey's Anatomy on DVD. I'm letting everything spin around me. I'm causing this storm, but I don't know how to stop it. Because I can't feel it in me to stop. 9:48 p.m. - November 23, 2006 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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