diamondsky's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Today was a long day It snowed today, and finally it was a full-out accumulation of about 5 inches. I had an exam at 8am, which pretty much sucked, so we won't talk about that. I crawled back into my bed and watched some Lost on DVD. Then, all afternoon, and most of the night, I studied for my perennials exam. I know about 40 plants, it's pretty exciting. But I'm exhausted. Really, I want few things more than someone to cuddle with when I'm cold or sad. I want some comfort, and not in the way my friends can provide. And maybe it's because of this silly physical want that I think I might want to give Jon a second chance. I know that sounds ridiculous, but there might be more than just physical wants afterall. He does make me laugh, and he seems to really understand my lame sense of humor. Ha! Clearly it's meant to be. I don't know.... He gets me. And he's such a nice, great guy. Last night he was telling me how he volunteers for a week-long camp for children with epilepsy. I was nervous when things started getting so close at first. It was really fast; not in the sense that we made out or anything like that (we never even kissed), it was just that things went from "let's go to this dance as friends" to "let's dance during all the slow songs and he'll say really nice things at all the right times" sort of thing. Kinda overwhelming for a girl who hasn't been in the dating scene in over 2 years. So, of course, I freaked. And now I'm having seconds thoughts. Did I give up too quickly? Now that I know him as a friend, I respect and appreciate him so much more. And respect is a form of love, I think. I don't know, really. My heart and my mind just don't make sense anymore. I'm going to pray about it, and maybe my soul will understand. 11:18 p.m. - February 06, 2007 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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