diamondsky's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- But I am not PMSing, I swear I met him last week at a friend's party. He checked off every single box on my ridiculous list of what a boy should be. Tall? Check. Dark hair and brown eyes? Check, check. Nice teeth/great smile? Ummmm CHECK Good conversationalist? Funny? Considerate? Christian? Just as awkward as me when it comes to dancing? Good, stable job (with good grammar to boot)? Check, checkity, check. Needless to say, he left a very good first impression. I haven't really crushed this hard in a long time. Maybe it's because I've been sticking with the boys who are "safe". The boys who don't get much attention, so they're pretty good at giving me all of theirs. I don't know. I've been pretty selfish when it comes to love lately. But I was genuinely interested in this guy. A week went by, and he never called. So I called and left an embarrassingly awkward voice mail message. And I'm afraid I'll never hear from him again. So I'm going into this stupid snowball, and you can't stop me. Because I have to get it out of my system. What if he never calls? I've dumped a guy who was dependable and quirky and loyal. He would have given me the world. And I know deep in my heart that I would never have been completely happy with him. So it is A GOOD THING that I left him. But now I have this horrible fear of being alone. I mean... All of my previous relationships came out of high school or college. It's going to take much more effort to meet people. I am not ready to dive into this DATING thing. I just had really high hopes for this guy. Maybe I just start using that whole "don't expect so much and you won't get hurt" advice that I used to live by. I am irrationally emotional and incredibly hungry. 8:17 p.m. - March 01, 2009 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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