diamondsky's Diaryland Diary

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Top 5 Memories of 2007 - #1

#1 - The Moment I Decided to Let Love In

Now, technically, as Christians we are supposed to let love sink into our lives every day in the little things. We can find God and His love in the hug of a good friend. We can find love in the study session with our classmates when we really needed it. We can find love in the smile of a stranger as we're walking to class. Love is supposed to be all around, remember?

So am I cheating when I say that my top memory of 2007 is "The Moment I Decided to Let Love In"? I don't think so.

Until 2007, I turned a blind eye to the love that God was trying to show to me. I only loved myself. So on that snowy St. Valentine's Day when I realized a boy liked me for who I was, I decided to go with it. It was nice, it was refreshing. I found love on a crisp March night when the boy showed up with a 52-pack of sidewalk chalk for me. We scribbled drawings along the paths on the quad by the light of the moon and the dim sidewalk lamps.

And when that relationship ended in October, I knew I couldn't go back to the way I was before February 14, 2007. When I felt alone and abandoned, I would walk around campus and look at the trees. Those leaves of scarlet and orange made me realize that I was loved by God who created those trees. Trees that would bother to use that energy on pretty leaves instead of saving it for the winter. And I let love enter into my broken heart. I went to adoration nearly every day. I found more comfort there than any hot cup of Earl Grey tea could ever provide. I let love enter into my life when I clung to my friends during Kmass so I wouldn't have to feel awkward and alone. I let love enter into my life when I got to know my roommate better because I wasn't always with a boyfriend.

And now I find myself falling for a boy all over again. It is good. It's smiling-so-much-that-my-cheeks-hurt good. It's butterflies-in-my-stomach good. And it is happiness. I let those feelings in that cold, windy night of Fever Formal Fall 07. And those same feelings are still there. I am interested to see where God will take me next. It's going to be an adventure, and I hope I'm ready for it.

Thanks, 2007.
The only way to feel again is to let love in.

6:10 p.m. - December 16, 2007

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